I have been asked so many times about my brother and I honestly hate talking about him. So if you were ever curious to what happened, here it is.
When I was in grade four I was at school one day all happy and that when there was an announcement over the speakers asking for my brother and sister to come to the office. I had no idea what it was about but they asked me to bring my bag so I was like yeah sick going home. I got to the office and my mum was sitting in there expressionless with my principal. I thought something had happened to my dad so I asked where he was and she’s like ‘he’s in the car’ so I thought things were fine.
We were all sitting in there then mum looks at us and tells us that my brother Sean died.
I was in so much shock like I couldn’t believe it, it hadn’t gotten to me until his funeral a few days later. I was so confused, I honestly thought it was a joke and I was like how, no this isn’t possible, is this a joke, what’s going on? She then told us that he hung himself in my sisters backyard the night before. None of us were expecting it, and then my dad came in to the room and we just all started crying together, it was the most fucked up thing that has ever happened to me. We drove all the way to Sunbury where he lived and dad sat in the back going through their text messages. He gave no sign of taking his own life, I only found out after that he was really depressed. When we got there my older sister was balling her eyes out, I didn’t cry for the rest of the day, I was just in shock. My friend called me and asked why I left and I told her and I wasn’t even upset. It was his funeral a few days later and I thought I could just be strong and not cry but then I got to his coffin where it was an open view of sean and then it hit me. He’s gone, not coming back. I can’t talk to him or touch him. He was so cold and lifeless lying there. I could not stop crying after that, I was shaking I didn’t know what was going on. They played forever young while he got cremated so now I can’t listen to that or soul meets body. It just brings me to tears every time and recently when all this bullshit has been happening to me I find i have no one to turn to because he would have been the only one who would understand. He was 17 at the time and I know that he could help me with everything. We had moved houses as he died, we even set up his room.